The “Artistic” Kid

April is Autism Awareness Month so I decided to share this brief story.  Many years ago when my daughter was in early middle school she and a friend helped babysit children who came to a party we were hosting for our directors.  The parents were on the property but since we have a pool and I wanted the parents to relax I hired Madison and her friend Kristin to look after the few children who were going to be there.  They were to play games, watch movies and keep everyone away from the pool.  Unbeknownst to us one of our directors at the time had five children one of whom was autistic.  This was the first personal experience we’d had with this spectrum before it was even talked about very much. Though the parents, themselves, kept a close watch on this young boy the unexpected effort of keeping an eye on a child with such different expectations left a permanent mark on my daughter.  That night, after all the guests were gone and we were cleaning up after the party, Madison, in all her 12 year old wisdom said “Most of the kids were fine, but that artistic kid was a handful!” To this day she is suspicious of children in general saying “Children dart!  You’ve gotta watch them!” She has never forgotten the brief responsibility she had that one afternoon for someone who didn’t behave at all like the other kids.

Autistic or artistic?

These days the spectrum of autism is as vast as our understanding of it is not.  I love that awareness is increasing of this particular unique brain function which often can compute brilliantly though is typically accompanied by limited expression in expected areas, especially social expression and interaction.  Daily living with this spectrum can be at turns exhausting, mesmerizing, filled with wonder, repetitive, explosive and unexpected. One day recently I had lunch with a dear friend who manages this daily life with great grace and works tirelessly to promote wholeness in her sons who live within various parts of this spectrum of autism.

This day was one of those “days after” that many mothers experience where you are filled with self doubt and wonder why you didn’t become a truck driver instead of embarking on this crazy adventure called Motherhood.  It was a comfort to gather with other mothers who had been there in one way or another and share honestly what it feels like to be the mother of one who is different.  When I came home that evening I couldn’t help but ask about autism and this spectrum in my quiet time.  I love the simple, loving answer Holy Spirit gives.

Me:  This feels like such a physical manifestation of our belief in “separateness” or “other”, what can we do?  What is needed?  How can peace reign?  What about joy and understanding?

The beauty on the other side of the fence…..

HS:  Precious One,

This one and others like him are not “other”, they are part of you, your very own self. As you are able to extend and practice tenderness, allowance, gentleness, understanding, welcome, acceptance and willingness to love your own self, so will this seeming separated part of yourself become imbued with such love and acceptance it will not fear its actual truly joined state.

For your part, practice acceptance, tenderness, gentleness, understanding, welcome and willingness to those dealing with this challenge.  As you practice complete acceptance this acceptance is passed on, received and ultimately accepted.

Fear not the meaning of this state, it is but one more aspect of your own holy self for you to receive with great joy and tenderness.

Remember this the next time you deal with one who is behaving very differently that this, too, is part of our whole self and extending a flavor of love (welcome, allowance, stillness, calm, peace, willingness) will telegraph that there is nothing to fear (both to your own heart and the heart of the one in front of you).  Remember also, to extend love to the feelings you experience of dismay, annoyance, surprise or feeling out of place.  The more we choose to extend love to our thoughts, or the thoughts or behaviors of someone else, the more we experience the love that is always present within us.