1. Day 5: Me, Myself, & I
I am beginning to notice a pattern. Me in fear. Me in my right mind. Then deeper still Me in my Holiness (I still call this Holy Spirit because when I begin it still feels a l….o…..n…….g way away from who and where I am). 4am Me in fear: I feel nervous, excited and stupid (Why am I doing this to myself?) I fear the focus on fear. (What you focus on multiplies.) I am afraid of getting obsessive (Who me?). This must be why alcoholics avoid drink. Am I this way about work/a specific project? Do I obsess and abandon all Self in the ensuing crush of insanity? Is there something else...
Read More1. Day 4: BE JUICY EXPRESS LOVE
More thoughts re my fear of commitment: I’m afraid if I commit to a project and am successful, I might outshine another who needs success more than I. I’m afraid I haven’t thought of everything. I’m still counting on SOMEONE ELSE to give me the go ahead, the approval, the big thumbs up. Can I really, truly trust my OWN inner guidance on this blog? I don’t’ know where to write what, help, help, HELP, HELP!!!!!!!!!!! I need large chunks of time without appointment or plan. I love to soak in the holiness of my own heart. When I play the whirligig game of fast living the world insists on, I give...
Read More1. Day 3: Extending Love to My Thoughts
Before I begin in earnest I want to share briefly what my practice of extending love to my thoughts looks like. I learned how to extend love to my thoughts when I became an ordained Voice for Love minister. Essentially this is a practice of stillness and noticing my thoughts without judgment then simply extending a color or facet of love to the thoughts that I notice. The big AHA for me was thinking about Love in terms of qualities, colors or facets (kindness, acceptance, stillness; pouring out light as if it were honey; welcoming my thoughts with a hug or a deep bow). I knew that I...
Read More1. Day 2: A Daily Commitment of Self Love
So we begin with commitment. Ugh, yuck & yippee. This is where the rubber meets the road (hopefully without the added mess of road kill.) My husband who truly wrote the book on commitment started the day with exhaustion in his voice. I asked him what he needed that he wasn’t getting? His answer: relief, time, quiet & completion. This is, in a nutshell, why I fear commitment to a task. I have seen it lead to this: tasks done = peace, relief, joy tasks not done = tension, hurry, anger. As Holy Spirit guided I will begin extending love to commitment. For the next 30 days. Then...
Read More1. Day 1: A Twelvemonth of Self Love
Getting Started. I have been guided to write and experience 12 months of extending love to my deepest fears, my nemeses in fact. The ones I really don’t want to look at unless forced (usually at the hands of the unexpected or an emergency). These are my thoughts I am aware of at the moment: Why wouldn’t I want to do this? What is this feeling I’m feeling right now? Doomed to failure. Flash in the pan. No stick-to-it-iveness. Lazy. It’s hard and not worth the effort. I don’t have to. I don’t know how. A commitment to work traps you (& those around you). Could love really make a...
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