How Can Joy & Grief Live Side By Side?
As I began to take in the miracle of integration happening during the intensity of last year I sought daily guidance for living what felt completely and utterly impossible; daily wedding joys and deadlines coexisting with moment by moment prayer requests and updates from the bedside of my cousin’s son in (what we would learn were to be) his final days. This was intense joy intertwined with deep grief. I could only go within (about every five minutes) and ask for comfort, guidance, relief and peace in the intense NOW that was unfolding. Just days before the wedding, in one 24 hour...
Read MoreHaving a Wedding Is Like Having a Baby
A little under six months ago I returned with great delight to my blog with amazing ideas and plans for my writing………….and then there was a wedding. This does not mean I got distracted or busy or overwhelmed (although all of these happened) this means that I was privileged to be a part of an incredible creation project not unlike the creation of a new life you experience in pregnancy. When I look at my calendar, to-do lists, journal entries and the bags under my eyes I am inclined to give myself 2016 OFF completely for a job very well done. Of course this...
Read More12. Day 30: Joy, It Takes A Little Longer
“Today is a stepping stone in the discovery of who I am and what brings me joy.”——March 30 (from my daily affirmations calendar from Louise Hay, given to each of us at the Writers Conference last week). This quote is perfect for me as I finish up my Twelvemonth and actually not a bad way to look at each and every day now that I think about it. How lovely would it be to look at each new day, no matter what was on your calendar or on your to-do list, as a stepping stone in the discovery of who you are? If that is my underlying goal and focus, wouldn’t...
Read More12. Day 4: A Sensitive Issue
Extending love to feeling and feelings is a departure for me. Sure, I can extend love to thoughts all day long. Even though thoughts in this case are everything I am aware of. See, that’s the thing. I am not really aware of my feelings. I am aware of sadness, happiness, despair and crossness but feeling those things is different. I have trained myself (not very well actually) to ignore my own feelings because I have also trained myself to be acutely aware of other people’s feelings. When my daughter was ill several years ago she would put her head against mine and say...
Read More10. Day 22: She Went Home Four Years Ago Today
“My Mother, My Self” Some times the grieving goes on for years before the last goodbye. The daily loss of life and living one less capability and memory little sense or truth yet love continued to shine in, through, beyond. I was almost too tired, worn and depleted to see it. But then gratitude would wash over me and clean me inside and out and I would give thanks for one more hour with Mother. She has been gone from this life, this earth and street four years ago today. Here’s God’s honest truth; I rarely miss her (and I have been known to miss anything from the...
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