5. Day 1: Monk Habits For Everyday People
As I continue my twelvemonth project and practice of extending love to my fears, I feel the calling/longing of my body and I am willing to be willing. Please give me an AHA and sign to get myself over the hump I feel I am in front of. These words came to me while coming back down the hall with my tea: EVERY DAY I sat down and put my tea on the table and noticed a book I ordered weeks ago yet have not read: “Monk Habits for EVERYDAY People”—by Dennis Okholm Wow! This is not going to be a 4am revelation is it? Am I increasing my willingness and listening such that we can...
Read More4. Day 4: Not Even Fourth Nature
I have to admit that letting go is not second (or third or fourth) nature to me. I feel like there is a tense energy that wants to ball up like a fist in me; it wants to strike out and see things it wants to be different and fix/change them. I feel this fist in my head and gut. So it is a good thing I am practicing extending love to my fear of letting go. I need to let go I just don’t know how. I extend awareness to this thought. Somehow just (!) being aware of this tight fist of hanging on to wanting things to be different allows me to be with it a few moments. In those few...
Read More4. Day 1: Letting Go Of Velociraptors Is Easy
Letting go of velociraptors is easy; letting go of fear (and your favorite pair of pj’s) is hard. Or so I thought. I have noticed over the month (of extending love to guilt) I have been feeling a growing letting go energy. It feels like a flow of spaciousness that just IS. I noticed it first when talking to my daughter about wanting to get a new sofa and dining chairs. I am realizing I am ready to let go all kinds of stuff that I have previously clung too as my life and identity. I asked Holy Spirit how I can remain open to this energy. HS: Dearest One, Thank you for noticing this...
Read More3. Day 2: Guilt, Another Way to Experience Innocence
Can I be totally honest with you? I think the Holy Spirit has chosen the wrong fear this time. Guilt is like the Mother of all fears and all I feel in this moment is that 30 days is just not going to put a dent in this fear. Maybe this IS the problem. I think I can “deal with guilt”; move it, change it, get rid of it. Good grief. I am right back where I started thinking I need to change guilt to suit my purposes. Or maybe I can. Change guilt to suit my purposes. Isn’t that what a different perspective is? What is guilt really? For me it is feeling that I have...
Read More3. Day 1: Vulcan Mind-Meld
Today we begin a new month of extending love to an epic fear. Holy Spirit did it again with a 4:17am wake up call. (I must be my most open at 4am.) I almost don’t want to say out loud what the next fear is. As far as I can remember it has affected me my whole life. It has both propelled me and stopped me from speaking my own heart and mind for the sake of others (apparently and obviously more important others) and left me frying in my own juices, like a steak on the grill. For me this fear has the physical effect of self-electrocution. I never really looked at this as a fear,...
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