2. Day 24: Being With Being Alone
It is a perfect day yet I am weary of depression; of thinking about it and extending love to it. It feels as if I have gotten to take on the mantle of depression for the month, like a character, and write and ask from this space. I am now itching to throw off that cloak of stillness and run barefoot through the grass. I want juicy, vibrant and alive! We now look at the fear of being left behind from the “21 Fear Salute” of depression. This fear of being left behind might actually be a blessing. Is this what gets me moving into action? I can clearly remember the first...
Read More2. Day 23: Change Is
Does everybody have cancer? You either have it yourself or someone close to you has it. I have a loved one battling today that invisible fear we call cancer. I noticed on Facebook and overheard grocery store and business conversations that so many are fighting this battle, this fear, this irrevocable change. Change in health, in prognosis for the future, in daily life. If we are all connected then why are we doing this to ourselves? We are afraid of change as much as anything. This is a core fear in depression too. Me: How can I be with all of this in peace? HS: Dearest One, know I...
Read More2. Day 22: Vulnerability & Truth
I am beginning to realize that all these fears in the “21 Fear Salute” of depression are all kind of the same. The fear of truth. We are so afraid that Love is not the truth about us that even though we long for, hope, cross our fingers we still do not feel sure. The next fear which is the fear of being exposed uncovers a broader truth. We actually are afraid LOVE is the truth about us. 13. Fear of being exposed This is deep yet universal. It is what we think vulnerability will feel like; exposed, naked, without excuse. When I feel exposed I feel very uncomfortable...
Read More2. Day 20: WTF HS?
We are in the middle of a catastrophic health crisis of the most hopeless kind. One of my dear ones, a child really, just starting out in the world is on the other side of a diagnosis that changed everything in an instant. This one graduated from college just days ago. This is the kind of thing that sends me reaching to the back of my mind’s cupboard for a drink of “What’s the point of living any more anyway?” It seems so pointless, frightening, overwhelming and threatening. It is a weird thing to find myself noticing the threat of death feels not dissimilar to the...
Read More2. Day 19: Nothing But Everything
Behind my fear of the voice of NOT-enough lies the even deeper terror of the abyss of NOTHING. What if there is nothing in my heart–no feeling, no guidance, no inner teacher, no creative impulse, no heart beat? What then? This is the fear to end all fears. “Listen to your heart” is nothing new. We see this used on YouTube videos and Facebook memes and hear this preached from every pulpit of every faith. So why don’t we do it? Listen to our heart. It is because of this very real fear of the heart in the “21 Fear Salute” that depression faces every...
Read More