7. Day 16: An Honest Quiet
As I am consciously extending love to my fear of honesty by practicing real honesty I have to say that there is a whole bunch of stuff that tries to pass as honesty that really isn’t. Here are just some of the things that kind of sound like honesty but under further scrutiny is just something standing in the way of my awareness of true honesty. Things That Try To Pass As Honesty: opinions, tiredness (really that old thing?), silence, suggestions, “You be honest first, then I’ll be honest.”, using my “serious” voice, talking fast, hurrying (I am SO...
Read More7. Day 15: I’ll Be Honest With You
I feel a withdrawing sadness/what’s the point energy today (maybe for a few days?). I would toss it off as tiredness, but it feels both deeper and more on the surface than usual. I can’t tell if it is overcommitment or being dishonest in making the commitments in the first place. Or is it that deeper churn of my own children entering new phases in their young adult lives that I can only watch and welcome whatever I am feeling within myself? Me: Please help me extend the tenderest love and awareness even as I ask for guidance. Thank you. I extend generosity to this thought....
Read More7. Day 14: When Extending Love Is Impossible
I am beginning to wish I had not listened to the Holy Spirit and chosen extending love to my fear of honesty. And I certainly wish I hadn’t told anybody. I am in a funk today for no apparent reason. I could call up a few reasons and try to make those stories the “why” of my funk but that feels less than honest (again I say damned honesty). I just woke up with a great sense of heaviness on my chest, a tightly-wound, imploding sort of energy. It feels like a personal version of a black hole. And nothing untoward has happened. I want to run from this energy but must...
Read More7. Day 1: Dear (Me) In The Headlights Of Honesty
Whoa! As I keep walking this path of a twelvemonth of self love, the fear of honesty just appeared on my radar. I feel like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming coal truck. This must be what I most need to extend love to next because my heart clenched and I thought “NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo………..” and then I thought “But I AM honest, aren’t I??!” Holy heck, my heart is racing and I already feel guilty. Guilty of what?? Being dis-honest?? I am honest to a fault in my outer life. I relentlessly go the speed limit, I prepare to stop...
Read More6. Day 30: Tiredness Is But A Reminder To Go Within
In this month I have spent with tiredness (extending love, honesty, understanding, awareness and trust etc) I can honestly say “What was I afraid of again??” I now know, down to my [still occasionally weary] toes that tiredness is but my reminder to pause, breathe and go within. Immediately if not sooner. I can see that tiredness covers a multitude of sins of love’s omission. When I think about, worry about, brag or complain about tiredness, I am missing its precious gift. Only when I stop and really notice, welcome, allow and be with tiredness does it reveal its true...
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