2. Day 23: Change Is
Does everybody have cancer? You either have it yourself or someone close to you has it. I have a loved one battling today that invisible fear we call cancer. I noticed on Facebook and overheard grocery store and business conversations that so many are fighting this battle, this fear, this irrevocable change. Change in health, in prognosis for the future, in daily life. If we are all connected then why are we doing this to ourselves? We are afraid of change as much as anything. This is a core fear in depression too. Me: How can I be with all of this in peace? HS: Dearest One, know I...
Read More2. Day 21: How Do You Relate To Your Thoughts?
I am struggling to extend love to depression. It feels like depression is anti-gravity and deflects all attempts at joining or welcome. Perhaps the energy of depression is non-attractive? Is it actually repelling? It feels more like zero gravity or exactly center on the spectrum of gravity. Is this stillness??? This is interesting. Stillness is that quality of love that simply abides quietly. What if we could allow depression as stillness? What a difference in our (my) reaction to depression. After a new baby is born we might experience post-partum stillness. One might be able to...
Read More2. Day 20: WTF HS?
We are in the middle of a catastrophic health crisis of the most hopeless kind. One of my dear ones, a child really, just starting out in the world is on the other side of a diagnosis that changed everything in an instant. This one graduated from college just days ago. This is the kind of thing that sends me reaching to the back of my mind’s cupboard for a drink of “What’s the point of living any more anyway?” It seems so pointless, frightening, overwhelming and threatening. It is a weird thing to find myself noticing the threat of death feels not dissimilar to the...
Read More2. Day 10: I Am Enough
I will continue with the “21 Fear Salute” which acknowledges the cluster of thoughts and fears depression includes and ask Holy Spirit about each one. Me: HS, please help me understand why closed questions are a part of the thoughts of depression? HS: Closed questions keep all focus within easy reach. They keep you from noticing your thoughts, feelings, and your true voice. Me: What is a closed question, an example? 2. Closed questions HS: “Why is this happening?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why is everything so hard?” “Why is it never easy?” “What’s the point?” A closed...
Read More2. Day 5: I Allow Myself to See
The Holy Spirit continues with this message of love regarding power and powerlessness and gives me a great practice. HS: When you feel depressed you feel powerless. When you feel powerless (fear of power) you feel depressed. Think of areas you feel powerless in. Me: Assuring my children are happy, healthy and strong; my body’s health and strength; wearing high heels (ever since my Mother was in a wheel chair and I got used to needing flat shoes for my own sure-footedness in moving her to and fro); driving; high powered business situations; keeping up with my business partner’s energy...
Read More1. Day 25: Love Is Vast Enough
I am feeling a little (actually A LOT) cornered by time. My week is full. Help! This thought, a benediction from my heart revives me: Love is vast enough to hold all my time, appointments, plans and schedule. This bears repeating. Every five minutes if needed: LOVE IS VAST ENOUGH (Love Is –inhale….Vast Enough–exhale x repeat as needed) Me: What do I need right now? I feel ever so slightly fidgety and rushed. This is the part of commitment I question; it takes up a lot of space and energy. Here I am, in my quiet time, and thoughts, ideas, ponderings keep popping...
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