2. Day 12: The Seat of Suffering
I have noticed that a characteristic of depression, and most suffering actually, is a deep unwillingness. Me: HS, please tell me about this. Why is unwillingness a part of suffering? How can we deal with a powerful deadening sense of unwillingness? HS: Dearest One, Unwillingness is at the seat of suffering. Unwilling to be here now. Unwilling to face this moment. Unwilling to feel pain. Unwilling to open eyes. Unwilling to know Love’s presence. Unwilling to hope. Unwilling to care. Unwilling to experience peace. Unwilling to experience joy. Unwilling to know the truth. Unwilling to...
Read More2. Day 11: The Ensuing Quiet
How do I extend love to depression if it is someone else experiencing depression? I fear it and hate it is because of what I see it do to people: it is isolating, it is debilitating, numbing, withdrawing, saddening, dampening and de-energizing. It seems to cut people off, not only from who they are but cuts them off from relating to themselves as well as others. I think what frustrates me is the seeming lack of caring for self or others. No curiosity and no interest appear to be present. I guess I must think it could be cured/healed with a change of mind. Would I /do I feel the same...
Read More2. Day 9: Unbolting the Door
I am finding trouble accessing the feelings of fear I have for depression. Somehow just (!) being willing to meet and greet something that has caused me grief, confusion, anger, loneliness and silence is lessening all these feelings. I feel almost cheerful, hopeful even, in greeting and welcoming depression. This makes no sense. Me: How can I extend love to a fear if I am not feeling it in the moment? Am I healed already? HS: Dear One, Be glad in this moment you are not experiencing your fear. This does not prevent you from extending much tender awareness to the state of depression. ...
Read More2. Day 4: In Cahoots with Good
I learned yesterday that depression comes from power I possess but have not used. What qualities of love are best to extend to powerlessness to increase and balance my awareness of my true power? Holy Spirit: Be willing to sit in stillness and invite power to make itself know to you in a feeling or sensation. It may be a tingling, a sense of spaciousness or a feeling of openness to what is. Powerlessness is a state of fearing power; it is not lack of power. Powerlessness is a state of fearing power; it is not lack of power. As you allow yourself to step quietly and without regret or...
Read More1. Day 22: Fame Is a Flashlight
Weirdly I have discovered underneath my fear of commitment lies what I call a feeder-fear; this is a fear of fame. I know it sounds ridiculous because what are the odds of “fame” occurring because of what I write on a blog? Especially since I have yet to put any hustle into sharing the blog (I am leaving that totally up to my Holy Spirit btw). Fame is one way of putting being known for who and what you are or stand for. I guess I need to hear about fame because that is exactly what I asked. Me: These days people taste fame, at least for a moment, fairly easily and quickly with YouTube,...
Read More1. Day 13: Loving Circle of Care
Holy Spirit and I look in the mirror together: HS: Dearest One, I see a woman who has spent her whole life loving and caring for others; dolls, friends, teachers, parents, husband, children, members, clients and now is discovering that one person was left out of that loving circle of care. You, your Self, and I Am. Dearest One, you have done nothing wrong by caring for others or for forgetting your own dear Self. The real Beauty here is that you did hear your Self calling and you answered. This is where the real juice is for this is where memory and future become one, this is where the...
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