5. Day 13: Love Named Robin
I was terribly saddened to hear of the death of Robin Williams yesterday. It would seem that his death was by the choice that really is without choice. Suicide is a clamor for peace, a call for love, a declaration of “I am finished now”. There is already much talk about suicide, depression, mental illness combined with substance abuse and the moment is already being lost under a flurry of commentary of a life that was in deed gift to us all. Of course I did not know Robin Williams personally in any way. I have, over the years, thought how difficult it must have been to...
Read More2. Day 31: A Cabin At The Lake
This month of extending love to depression has been somehow like coming home. Coming home to a house you visited when you were very young but had not been to in many years. Everything looks smaller, less daunting, possibly shabbier even while exuding the feeling of the comfort and safety of home. Allowing myself the gift of spending time with the thought-cluster of depression has been like coming upon a favored cabin at Donner Lake that has been shut up for years. It’s dusty and stale and all the outdoor furniture is stacked in the living room. The water has been turned off and...
Read More2. Day 30: The Jig Is Up
Depression has a very low opinion of everything and everyone. I know. The jig is up. This is a totally untrue statement. You knew from the very first moment you read it in the “21 Fear Salute” didn’t you? You were afraid to even allow this thought to exist so you closed yourself off from it; clamping down and closing your eyes. The thing is, this is how you forget your precious self. When you close your eyes to anything, you close your eyes to everything. 21. A very low opinion of everything and everyone. HS: Dearest One, Opinion is a small use of energy and...
Read More2. Day 29: Precious One
The thing I love most about depression is this certainty of not being incredibly precious, valuable and vital to both the world’s collective happiness and to your own. I get it, it feels like nothing is worth it, that you are not worth it but have you ever asked yourself: Is this true? Go on. Ask. I dare you. Take a deep breath and relax. Close your eyes and sink into the quiet. What do you feel? In this moment is there really anything you need? We are finally getting to the bottom of the the list [of the “21 Fear Salute” of depression] and to the crux of the issue....
Read More2. Day 28: Action Is Essentional to Living
Safety is the key to moving forward. Moving is also key to moving forward. How can you feel safe when you don’t? How can you move forward if you don’t feel safe? How can you trust the desires of your heart when you don’t really trust your self? I just read an article in a recent Town & Country touting the benefits of a personal nutritionist (soon to be followed by a personal farmer). We are inundated with expert advice, none of it our own. We will take credit for the wisdom to hire an expert but that is as far as it goes. When did our own instincts and heart get...
Read More2. Day 27: What I Really, Really Want
“I don’t know what I want.”—how many times have you said this? Perhaps while standing in line at Starbucks, or at the cheese counter in Whole Foods or at the crossroads of your life when opportunity presented itself? Is this true? Do you really not know what you want? Depression and its “21 Fear Salute” guards are quite certain you do NOT know what you want. 18. I don’t know what I really want. Let’s borrow from our dear friend Byron Katie and turn this right around and sit with it awhile. I know what I want. What I really,...
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