1. Day 28: Worthy is the Lamb
Holy Spirit, yesterday felt like a car crash: the speed of business meets the intensity of desire for close family time. In this moment I am bloody annoyed; at commitment, at life, at myself. This thought just in from a brief sojourn in the bathroom (isn’t it always the way): I feel like something is being asked of me that I don’t want to do/give/be. What do I think is expected of me? I feel that it is expected that I be happy, bouncy, cheerful caring……. all the time. HS: Where are you right now? Me: In the living room with tea, water and journal. I am completely comfortable, nothing...
Read More1. Day 23: Itching Relieves Tension
Today commitment is like the annoying itch I have at the moment. To be honest, I want more to know about the itching that I want to know about commitment. Me: What is this itching about? It comes replete with both full-on annoyance and delicious satisfaction. It keeps coming back, is this some form of self-medication? Please help me see here, thank you. HS: Your body continues to call out for care: movement, moisture, nourishment, stretch, openness and strength. Me: Honestly, I get tired of my body’s needs. How can I see this differently? Whoa! This thought just snuck into my...
Read More1. Day 22: Fame Is a Flashlight
Weirdly I have discovered underneath my fear of commitment lies what I call a feeder-fear; this is a fear of fame. I know it sounds ridiculous because what are the odds of “fame” occurring because of what I write on a blog? Especially since I have yet to put any hustle into sharing the blog (I am leaving that totally up to my Holy Spirit btw). Fame is one way of putting being known for who and what you are or stand for. I guess I need to hear about fame because that is exactly what I asked. Me: These days people taste fame, at least for a moment, fairly easily and quickly with YouTube,...
Read More1. Day 19: A Block to Love’s (& Commitment’s) Presence
In meditation I had this thought: The layered difficult circumstances that I thought were “why” I couldn’t express my Self (not the right time; someone will be upset/hurt; this is heresy; it’s not my place) I saw as a bulwark dam I had built to keep from expressing truth. Why did I do this to myself? HS: Dearest One, This is an experience you give yourself over and over again just to see how long you can stand it—like holding your breath under water as a child. Fear not the meaning. The world is made of this; experiments of experience and trial and error to see if it is possible to live...
Read More1. Day 13: Loving Circle of Care
Holy Spirit and I look in the mirror together: HS: Dearest One, I see a woman who has spent her whole life loving and caring for others; dolls, friends, teachers, parents, husband, children, members, clients and now is discovering that one person was left out of that loving circle of care. You, your Self, and I Am. Dearest One, you have done nothing wrong by caring for others or for forgetting your own dear Self. The real Beauty here is that you did hear your Self calling and you answered. This is where the real juice is for this is where memory and future become one, this is where the...
Read More1. Day 9: Extending Love to My Self
Today I am stuck in the sinking mire of doubt. I feel pulled down by a flattening energy drain. I extend optimism and light to this thought. I am willing to be free from “stuck” because I am willing to extend love in whatever form “stuck” needs until flow is reestablished. This writing and expressing my own holiness is not fearful, it is how many will awaken to their holiness within. The joy and wonder we each feel is multiplied exponentially in all. The Oneness is beginning to make sense. The Force of Willingness is no longer feared. I am light and free in my own body. I nourish myself...
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