3. Day 29: Sunday Meditation
Thank you for the delicious meditation this morning. Thank you especially for this thought: What if I remembered ONLY myself? In that moment, all my thoughts, plans, roles, identities neatly fell away as I simply was in peace, tranquility, quiet, gentle joy and wholeness. Thank you so much for this! I feel restored, refreshed and re-JOYed. The absence of guilt reveals the Presence of Love: whole, clean, empty yet fulfilled precious, tender, comfort-able willing to be yesterday, today and forever certain of holiness and truth open, welcoming and treasured delighted, joyful and...
Read More3. Day 5: Walk Without Worry
For some reason I have had an attack of self doubt (time for more Innocence Awareness Training) and exhaustion. After a nap yesterday, whole food and stillness I am returned to the awareness of the possibility of innocence being the truth about me. This quote from “The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament” was a spoon of golden honey to my heart: “In service, you are one with me, who has joined with the Holy Spirit in service and love. I give myself to Him for all. This is the way to know Heaven.”——-NTI Mark 10 p. 102 This...
Read More2. Day 29: Precious One
The thing I love most about depression is this certainty of not being incredibly precious, valuable and vital to both the world’s collective happiness and to your own. I get it, it feels like nothing is worth it, that you are not worth it but have you ever asked yourself: Is this true? Go on. Ask. I dare you. Take a deep breath and relax. Close your eyes and sink into the quiet. What do you feel? In this moment is there really anything you need? We are finally getting to the bottom of the the list [of the “21 Fear Salute” of depression] and to the crux of the issue....
Read More2. Day 20: WTF HS?
We are in the middle of a catastrophic health crisis of the most hopeless kind. One of my dear ones, a child really, just starting out in the world is on the other side of a diagnosis that changed everything in an instant. This one graduated from college just days ago. This is the kind of thing that sends me reaching to the back of my mind’s cupboard for a drink of “What’s the point of living any more anyway?” It seems so pointless, frightening, overwhelming and threatening. It is a weird thing to find myself noticing the threat of death feels not dissimilar to the...
Read More2. Day 3: Who Me?
This is why I hate depression. It pushes people away. A friend is going through a heavy phase of something. It feels like depression from where I stand but really, what do I know? My friend does not want to connect at all. This is the crux of what gets me about being on the other side of depression. It hurts. It feels like a slap in the face. So, Holy Spirit, it doesn’t seem you would feel wounded, hurt, sad or annoyed now so this must be my fear talking. How can I see this in Love’s eyes? Or rather, let me see in Love what is the truth. Help me extend willingness, not-knowing and...
Read More1. Day 30: Go As Far As You Can See
I continue to feel the overwhelm of too many things happening at once. I don’t feel I can be present for all of it. Please help Holy Spirit. HS: Precious One, Be still a moment and feel into your vast, immense, eternal peace. Feel into the perfectness of the unfolding of each event. See the inherent mystery in the evolvement. It is beautiful. See the colors and textures. Hear the sounds of breath and sparkle. Feel the shivers of delight and anticipation running through you. You are always standing on the Eve of Greatness. You are aware of both the moment and the Whole; now and...
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