12. Day 15: This Quiet Knows Me
I had a dear friend say to me the other day, “I am relentlessly happy. All the time now.” It was such a significant departure from the majority of her years dwelling (not living) in the pseudo safety of feeling nothing. It has been a long and revealing process, this unmasking of her true nature of happiness. For so long she didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t feel happiness. Couldn’t recognize or trust it. That is until she did; trust and recognize and claim the deep well of happiness that was always with her...
read more12. Day 14: Easy As Pi
I couldn’t not comment on today’s date of 3-14-15, the biggest Pi Day (in USA) of them all. And how perfect to remind myself (and you) that Love is just as easy. Delicious or mathematical as is needed. Or let’s just say that yesterday’s pickle is today’s relish. My blocked sensibilities melted away in light of the warmth and welcome of Holy Spirit’s Voice. I realized two very important things about my writing and my poetry. One, is that I can write ekphrastic poetry given time and permission from...
read more12. Day 13: An Ekphrastic Pickle
I am in a pickle. Or rather I feel like a pickle (tart, juicy, but with pursed lips). This is the month I have chosen to extend love (and light and noticing) to my Feeling(s). For the past few years I have been experiencing (and writing about) God/God’s Love/the Universe in everything. I am inspired by the smallest camellia petal piled on the ground like so much fuchsia snow to the unexpected delight in our new shiny black garbage bin just delivered by the County. Why then, am I having no feelings for the art which is the subject of...
read more12. Day 12: The Wanting
My friend Beth Misner spoke at a Women of Faith Breakfast I held several years ago and said about her often frenetically paced life, “I decided that I am not busy but that I have a full life with a meaningful schedule”. That thought really stuck with me and on a deeper level has been working from within me to produce the miraculous change of a similar feeling. I am not at the mercy of my schedule or even my desires. I have learned (through continuing daily practice) that my life and schedule are not something happening to me...
read more12. Day 11: Oh! I Forgot To Mention…
I forgot to mention yesterday in my post about stepping way out of my comfort zone that the feeling of discomfort is co-mingled with a deep undercurrent of willingness, delight, wonder and empowerment. My daughter mentioned this to me on her way out the door. It is a good thing to have an accountability partner when you have taken on the practice of extending love to your thoughts (and feelings). Noticing is the first great quality of love we get to use when extending love to our thoughts. If you don’t first notice the thought or...
read more12. Day 10: The Real Shabby Chic
Years ago in one of the earliest spoof films called “Flying High” (maybe called “Airplane” in the USA) there was a character that throughout the film would be in various states of becoming stressed and disheveled and say “I picked a bad week to give up drinking/smoking/glue sniffing”. It just get getting crazier each time he showed up. I feel a lot like that with this month of extending love to the fear of Feeling(s). I picked a bad month to extend love to feelings. This is also the month we are on a...
read more12. Day 9: I Brake For Poetry
“Nobody’s Fool” Even a dog gets thirsty and knows how to wake himself up and trot to the water bowl. How is it I forget each time I fall asleep how to wake myself up and trot over to the Beloved to sip, soak and be drenched by His love presence? I am a forgetting, fool, that’s why. Lucky my Beloved planted His holy wellspring deep within my breast so that I never have to trot very far to receive that sublime whiff of the holy christening which reminds me to open my mouth and surrender to the drink of Life. Once more I...
read more12: Day 8: A Ragtag Collection Of Ideas
Good morning Holy Spirit. Thank you for this time of quiet. The sun is not yet fully up yet our clocks are telling a different story. The past two days have been so chock full of revelation and feeling, I am dizzy to the point of throwing up frankly. So many things are being brought up for what? Reckoning? Forgiveness? Blessing? As yet, I can only ask for guidance, comfort and reminding of the truth about me. Our ambitious Organizing Project (inspired by our daughter’s desire to leave a legacy of order before she leaves to be...
read more12. Day 7: A Kitchen Miracle
I discovered something about myself the other day; accidentally, in the middle of a conversation with my daughter. She was bemoaning my frustrating habit of talking in non sequators, ie, one thing that does not obviously follow another. I wasn’t trying to confuse, but I was. She wasn’t trying to be confused, but she was. There we were, rinsing the lunch dishes to put in the dishwasher, and confusion had entered the room. Confusion that felt like a massive cow was pressing us up against the counter, taking up space and air and...
read more12. Day 6: I Am The Poem
Feelings have a way of leaving me mute; I think this is one of the reasons I have feared them. Since talking is my perceived way of connecting, feelings (and the ensuing muted state) can leave me feeling somewhat disconnected to myself. The beckoning quiet of silence is my only friend. Poetry is one way I can express myself back into an awareness of connection with myself. I do not write in order to make a poem, I write in order to be the poem. Silence Speaks My thoughts have all escaped I am left holding a bag of words clock tick candle...
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