Share this:
2. Day 17: Can You Hear Me Now?
HS: Dearest One, this is so prevalent, so disheartening, so deeply dishonest I will speak first. Do not be afraid of this fear. Let is shine as a weak candle in a deep dark cave full of the winds of truth. Dearest One, I must tell you this in the gentlest of terms and you will not be harmed in any way. Hear this. 8. Fear of Not Being Heard This is your heart speaking: “I am afraid I won’t be heard.” Your heart, your own heart, longs for you, cherishes you, chases after you and literally holds a candle for you...
read more2. Day 16: Oh Joy. Oh Crap.
Today’s fear in the “21 Fear Salute” is ever present in each one of us. It may be what is behind the two-year old declaring “I DO IT MYSELF!” as much as it is behind the 40 year old Mom cursing under her breath “I always have to do everything myself!” Why are we so afraid to ask for help? What do we think this says about us? That we are losers? weenies? hopeless & ill plan-worthy? Or is the fear of asking for help serving a deeper purpose? 7. Fear of Asking for Help The fear of asking...
read more2. Day 15: “Take Two Days at the Hyatt & Call Me In The Mourning”
I must admit, extending love to depression and my fear of looking at it is challenging me in my depths. It is as if I am inhabiting depression or it is inhabiting me to allow me to write and love from that authentic place within that is truth. It is no accident (darn it!) that today I got to look at and extend love to this fear (in the “21 Fear Salute”) in depression: 6. Fear of Truth What am I afraid of here? That I will discover that I have suffered from, ignored, covered over, been annoyed at and left as lost luggage...
read more2. Day 14: The Flavors of Love
Just in case anyone is feeling tired of looking fear in the eyes I will let you know I am feeling a bit the same way. I mean, why can’t we just focus on love? I am realizing that is exactly what is happening with my willingness to look at fear. Fear IS just a call for love and looking at it is answering in love. So let’s dive into another fear from the “21 Fear Salute”, shall we? 5. The Fear of Vastness Me: Holy Spirit, “the fear of vastness” seems like the same fear as “fear of the bigger...
read more2. Day 13: “Interview With A Fear”
Looking at the “21 Fear Salute” is giving me pause. I am forced to really stop and look closely at the interrelated fears that make up this cloaking of my joy and nature of love we know as depression. I keep thinking that something else will come to me about depression but it seems that witnessing and welcoming 21 fears is enough for now. Perhaps once my fears are all present and accounted for, they will feel safe enough to not feel fearful any more. So let’s tackle the fear of the bigger picture. 4. Fear of the Bigger...
read more2. Day 12: The Seat of Suffering
I have noticed that a characteristic of depression, and most suffering actually, is a deep unwillingness. Me: HS, please tell me about this. Why is unwillingness a part of suffering? How can we deal with a powerful deadening sense of unwillingness? HS: Dearest One, Unwillingness is at the seat of suffering. Unwilling to be here now. Unwilling to face this moment. Unwilling to feel pain. Unwilling to open eyes. Unwilling to know Love’s presence. Unwilling to hope. Unwilling to care. Unwilling to experience peace. Unwilling to...
read more2. Day 11: The Ensuing Quiet
How do I extend love to depression if it is someone else experiencing depression? I fear it and hate it is because of what I see it do to people: it is isolating, it is debilitating, numbing, withdrawing, saddening, dampening and de-energizing. It seems to cut people off, not only from who they are but cuts them off from relating to themselves as well as others. I think what frustrates me is the seeming lack of caring for self or others. No curiosity and no interest appear to be present. I guess I must think it could be cured/healed with...
read more2. Day 10: I Am Enough
I will continue with the “21 Fear Salute” which acknowledges the cluster of thoughts and fears depression includes and ask Holy Spirit about each one. Me: HS, please help me understand why closed questions are a part of the thoughts of depression? HS: Closed questions keep all focus within easy reach. They keep you from noticing your thoughts, feelings, and your true voice. Me: What is a closed question, an example? 2. Closed questions HS: “Why is this happening?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why is everything so hard?” “Why is it...
read more2. Day 9: Unbolting the Door
I am finding trouble accessing the feelings of fear I have for depression. Somehow just (!) being willing to meet and greet something that has caused me grief, confusion, anger, loneliness and silence is lessening all these feelings. I feel almost cheerful, hopeful even, in greeting and welcoming depression. This makes no sense. Me: How can I extend love to a fear if I am not feeling it in the moment? Am I healed already? HS: Dear One, Be glad in this moment you are not experiencing your fear. This does not prevent you from extending...
read more2. Day 8: The Great Drawing Within
I had a great experience with depression the other day I keep meaning to write down. I got some very unexpected news, which kind of blindsided me. I noticed I felt a heavy dragging on my chest, it felt a betrayal of sorts. I felt pitiful, lonely, left out and annoyed all at the same time. I just let all of those feelings be ok. I didn’t try to change or fix it. I just extended the quality of love of noticing. After a little while I went out with friends and as happens when sadness or surprise hits, it is softened tremendously by spending...
read more