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3. Day 6: Centeredness or Spin?
Guilt worries. I never realized this about guilt, but it’s true. Guilt worries about what will happen as well as worries about what won’t happen. Guilt worries about what you should have done, what she could have said and what he shouldn’t have even thought of. Worry is central to guilt’s mantra of ” this is not enough”. So let’s connect again to your enoughness. Right now. No, don’t skim ahead to see if there is something new or more interesting. Right now is enough. Right here, on...
read more3. Day 5: Walk Without Worry
For some reason I have had an attack of self doubt (time for more Innocence Awareness Training) and exhaustion. After a nap yesterday, whole food and stillness I am returned to the awareness of the possibility of innocence being the truth about me. This quote from “The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament” was a spoon of golden honey to my heart: “In service, you are one with me, who has joined with the Holy Spirit in service and love. I give myself to Him for all. This is the way to know...
read more3. Day 4: Innocence Awareness Training
I have been guided to undergo “Innocence Awareness Training” as a way of extending love to guilt and experiencing the daily truth of my innocence. Me: How can I experience my innocence daily? HS: Dearest One, Let us begin innocence awareness training this very day. Innocence does not flee from charges of guilt; there is no truth in them. Innocence does does not flee. Innocence remains fully present. Innocence is it’s own protection, power and truth. Me: But what if I choose to do something here that gets me into...
read more3. Day 3: Guilt Leads Me To Innocence
This blog and project of extending love to fear is coming with all kinds of bonuses. My favorite is that quotes, experiences, and “random” thoughts keep running right into my open arms. Hey, may it is because my arms are open? Today, let’s begin with a yummy quote written over 25 years ago that is saying the same thing about extending qualities of love that I found in the classic “I Come As a Brother” by Bartholomew: “To any extent WHATSOEVER that you practice any of the empowering truths such as...
read more3. Day 2: Guilt, Another Way to Experience Innocence
Can I be totally honest with you? I think the Holy Spirit has chosen the wrong fear this time. Guilt is like the Mother of all fears and all I feel in this moment is that 30 days is just not going to put a dent in this fear. Maybe this IS the problem. I think I can “deal with guilt”; move it, change it, get rid of it. Good grief. I am right back where I started thinking I need to change guilt to suit my purposes. Or maybe I can. Change guilt to suit my purposes. Isn’t that what a different perspective is? What is guilt...
read more3. Day 1: Vulcan Mind-Meld
Today we begin a new month of extending love to an epic fear. Holy Spirit did it again with a 4:17am wake up call. (I must be my most open at 4am.) I almost don’t want to say out loud what the next fear is. As far as I can remember it has affected me my whole life. It has both propelled me and stopped me from speaking my own heart and mind for the sake of others (apparently and obviously more important others) and left me frying in my own juices, like a steak on the grill. For me this fear has the physical effect of...
read more2. Day 31: A Cabin At The Lake
This month of extending love to depression has been somehow like coming home. Coming home to a house you visited when you were very young but had not been to in many years. Everything looks smaller, less daunting, possibly shabbier even while exuding the feeling of the comfort and safety of home. Allowing myself the gift of spending time with the thought-cluster of depression has been like coming upon a favored cabin at Donner Lake that has been shut up for years. It’s dusty and stale and all the outdoor furniture is stacked in the...
read more2. Day 30: The Jig Is Up
Depression has a very low opinion of everything and everyone. I know. The jig is up. This is a totally untrue statement. You knew from the very first moment you read it in the “21 Fear Salute” didn’t you? You were afraid to even allow this thought to exist so you closed yourself off from it; clamping down and closing your eyes. The thing is, this is how you forget your precious self. When you close your eyes to anything, you close your eyes to everything. 21. A very low opinion of everything and everyone. HS:...
read more2. Day 29: Precious One
The thing I love most about depression is this certainty of not being incredibly precious, valuable and vital to both the world’s collective happiness and to your own. I get it, it feels like nothing is worth it, that you are not worth it but have you ever asked yourself: Is this true? Go on. Ask. I dare you. Take a deep breath and relax. Close your eyes and sink into the quiet. What do you feel? In this moment is there really anything you need? We are finally getting to the bottom of the the list [of the “21 Fear...
read more2. Day 28: Action Is Essentional to Living
Safety is the key to moving forward. Moving is also key to moving forward. How can you feel safe when you don’t? How can you move forward if you don’t feel safe? How can you trust the desires of your heart when you don’t really trust your self? I just read an article in a recent Town & Country touting the benefits of a personal nutritionist (soon to be followed by a personal farmer). We are inundated with expert advice, none of it our own. We will take credit for the wisdom to hire an expert but that is as far as...
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