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4. Day 27: Meditation On Emptiness
I am loving the seeing that I am letting go into, rather than of. This feels infinitely truer in every way. As I am becoming friendly with the Vastness [of Love] I notice anything and everything that can help me let go into that Love that I am. This quote from “Journeys With A Brother” is a perfect meditation on space which helps shift my focus from my thoughts to Love. Extending love to space is extending love to my thoughts because the space is holding everything (including my zany, incessant, frequently panicky thoughts)....
read more4. Day 26: The Monotony Of Doubt
It always amazes me how I can doubt (or fear or be annoyed) after feeling the face of God in my very hands. Yesterday I felt I could just about walk on water and today I wonder who in the heck is sitting here in my place. The list of worries and doubts in my journal are laughable (from being a bad cousin to ‘WHY doesn’t the dog stop licking?’ to “Is my blog worthwhile?”). The whole thing makes my head hurt and extending love is the only (!) thing I can do. Why do I continue to fear letting go of doubt? I...
read more4. Day 25: That’s What Friends Are For
I think the hardest thing to let go is what I think about something. Especially when that “something” is, in fact, nothing. I am beginning to see I am not letting go of something, I am simply allowing myself to live with hands (and eyes and heart) wide open. I am not letting go of something I have a hold of, I am just letting go of thinking I have a hold of something. This morning a book sitting on my book shelf caught my eye. This is significant because I look at the book shelf every day and today one book literally called...
read more4. Day 24: When You Utterly Relax Into The Light
After celebrating my daughter’s 21 st birthday yesterday (in fact the fun continues for the next few days;) I was asking myself, what is it I am actually letting go in seeing her move on into what the world seems to agree on as adulthood, after all she has been living on her own at college, flew to Italy alone last summer and has already voted in a Presidential election? When I think of letting go as saying goodbye I am filled with conflicting emotions, happy/sad, delight/doubt, jubilation/trepidation. When I allow the thought of...
read more4. Day 22 & Day 23: 21 Years True
The sharing of this letting go required two days worth to include both Australian and American sides of the story. Well, actually, it has required 21 years (and counting). Today is my youngest daughter’s 21st birthday. It is cause for celebration, shopping, laughing, candles, champagne………..and reflection. I am beginning to realize the gift of letting go is most often in the reflection of all that has come before the seeming “moment” of letting go. In this case my daughter’s arrival began in the...
read more4. Day 21: How Do I Love Thee?
The days have been so full and my quiet time and meditation are happening in all kinds of ways (and at odd times) and I am feeling a little discombobulated. Where do I need my awareness to grow? HS: Let us nestle together in peace now. Abide in me as I abide in you. Bring me the treasures of my heart that I may once again know the truth. “How Do I Love Thee?” How do I love Thee, let me count the ways in innocence, in pain, in strength, in loneliness in joy, in sadness, in bereavement, and in gladness in toil, in rest, in...
read more4. Day 20: You Are The Truth Of Your Path
There are times I question the path I am on. This spiritual path of knowing and trusting that not only God is Love but Love is God called me by name and I could not NOT answer. It would have been easier staying in church but that felt so limiting somehow. No doubt it was a limit I imposed on myself but even though I am happy where and who I am, I long for the old days of certainty. This is a path of embracing not-knowing. Sometimes, like today, the not-knowing is just too big and I want to go back to KNOWing without shadow or doubt. Time...
read more4. Day 19: Let Go OH NO!
Letting go today was all about letting go of my old friend panic. Every time I thought “OH NO!” (Oh no, I’m not ready/ Oh no, I’m too busy and I don’t have enough time/ Oh no, it’s NOT time to eat again/ Oh no, I’m too tired for this now) in prepping for meetings, Crocker tours, writing a blog post, wondering what we would have for dinner I let go (again) of “Oh NO!!” It became my mantra today “LET GO OH NO/ LET GO OH NO/ LET GO OH NO”. I am grateful for this practice even...
read more4. Day 18: The Opposite Of Letting Go
I have noticed how hard it is for our family to leave the house. It is a never ending, staggering, ridiculous parade of almost getting into the car but not quite that can take upwards of 20 minutes (more if we are going farther than the state border). It is like escaping the pull of gravity and feels like the very opposite of let go. It is almost comical but frequently annoying. What gives? How can I feel peace about this? HS: Now is not fleeting. It is All. Now is vast holiness, ever present and mindful, complete acceptance and...
read more4. Day 17: Extra Helpings Of Ordinary
I am alone in the house for the first time in weeks. The air is cool, the room shaded nicely by matchstick blinds on the porch. I am alone. Relief. Peace. Quiet. Joy. Breath. Time to notice I am here. Pace is stop. Halt. Desist. Off. Relaxation of letting go……………….. When there is always a next thing looming, however delightful, this moment already feels stolen. I lived these last weeks reasonably in the present moment. Truth is, the most momentous of graduation, commissioning, send off and arrival of...
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