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6. Day 25: Yo’ Mama!
I am in a peculiar dither. It is time to really move deeper into a new phase of mothering and I feel like I am moving through a river of molasses carrying an 80 lb pack. This is the slow uncertainty that often precedes the eye-opening transformation already in progress. It doesn’t feel good. I feel blind, deaf, and most certainly dumb. How do I continue being a Mother without being a “MUTHER”. Standing back is not my strong suit. Wanting to share everything is. What happens when it is time to truly let your children...
read more6. Day 24: Cascade Of Joy & Gratitude
Annoyance is a quality of my tiredness. Or is tiredness a quality of my annoyance? Let’s just say they come together. Recently our older corgi, Matilda had a rash that got infected. Yuck and ugh. The vet gave her a long course of antibiotics and special shampoo. Of course I have to administer both, which is nearly as much fun at root canal work without the benefit of a kind dentist. Part of the problem is that this dog is carrying too much weight for her frame, this combined with a bit of contact dermatitis led to the greater...
read more6. Day 23: Under The Influence
Thank God I got a good nights sleep last night and a great walk this morning. My much needed meditation and quiet time seems to show up exactly as needed whether in the middle of the night from 3-4am laying in bed or on the porch as the sun comes up. I continue to feel into my body to connect my awareness to the feeling of joy and Holy Spirit. Just my doing this opens my eyes to it is done already. Today I feel a spaciousness and calm, a general warmth and tingling, breath, heartbeat, itchiness here and there and gratitude, as if my cells...
read more6. Day 22: Resistance & A Day At The Beach
Recently I woke up on the appointed day of our annual girls beach outing and was………………tired. I know, it is so boring by now you’d think I’d give up on this. These were the tired thoughts: “I don’t want to go”, “I’m too tired”, “The drive is too long” blah, blah and more blah. Thankfully my daily extending love practice showed up just in time before I picked up the phone and whispered “Can we cancel?” Here is what I noticed first:...
read more6. Day 21: Coach Notes
One of the things I love is working with a coach. The coaches I have worked with have literally changed the course of my life. Maybe it is better to say they have changed my experience of living, which has utterly changed the course of my life. Recently, in keeping with my blogging project and this month’s extending love to tiredness I brought this up in a recent coaching session. A coaching session is kind of like having a Holy Spirit session with someone else taking notes. If I allow and welcome the process I receive rich reward....
read more6. Day 20: The Thing About Tiredness
What I am beginning to notice about tiredness is that it is present whether I extend love to it or not. Perhaps this is like a hair color or being short, it just is. Of course I can go blonde if I want to (and I do) or wear high heals (not so much) to alter what is but does it really alter the limited self of brown-eyed, fifty-something, 5′ 2″ Eva? No, not really. What is getting clearer is that when I extend love I am reminded that I am love. Not that love gets rid of what I don’t want. Or that love can change...
read more6. Day 19: Short-stack Of Love
Today I am feeling the tiredness I seek to extend love to. Thank you. It is quite real at this moment, I want only to curl up in a cosy corner and forget any and all that I need to do. The truth is, in this very moment, I need do nothing. I can bask in the deep peace of my being and drink from the living water once again. Today my heart is reminded by two poems I wrote six years ago that God is Love and Love is all I need. True then. True now. That’s the beauty of eternal truth; true then, now and always. “My All” I...
read more6. Day 18: What Is Your Energy Saying To You?
I have felt subdued with my revelation about the devaluing way that I see. Crushed actually. It was painful to have the bandaid of working hard (to the point of exhaustion) ripped off to see the false seeing exposed underneath. I was moping when Holy Spirit’s voice came through in the bathroom (my favorite quick meditation getaway). HS: Devaluing is not actually changing value. This cannot be done. De-valuing is simply closing your eyes. Open your eyes darling to what is directly in front of you and give thanks. So what is...
read more6. Day 17: Holy Sh**, Am I Value-able?!!!
It is late (or early depending on how you look at it) and I cannot sleep. This thought keeps churning in my head like a dog that can’t find a comfortable spot on the blanket: “I am afraid of not working.” After getting up and finally looking at this thought (I extend noticing to this thought) the truer thought was revealed: “I am afraid of not creating value.” I want to always create value; in time, experience, object, design, moment and reason. I judge harshly something I see as lacking in...
read more6. Day 16: Can Joy Be My Guide?
The practice of noticing what I feel like in my body is quite interesting. I am beginning to see my body is shimmering with life and that noticing it actually shifts the energy somehow. The more I do this the more I feel like I am feeling into the feeling of joy. What does joy feel like? It feels just like this time of quiet to me. HS: Time to feel, notice, receive all the blessings that abound. No judgment, just acceptance, welcome, trust. Real delight is knowing THERE IS NOTHING WRONG. Ever. Spaciousness; feeling this in everything....
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