I had the most incredible experience yesterday. Our dear friend who we are staying with in Norwich took us to tour the Red Balloon Learning Center of Norwich of which he sits on the Board. This is a place where the victims of severe bullying (the children who are unable to return to school because of being so traumatized as a result of terrifying bullying incidents) are educated in a curriculum which includes the standards of English, Maths and Science but also gentle therapy, a loving environment and a new way to see themselves. The Red Balloon Learning Center is housed in a three story row house on a pleasant but busy street. There is a small back garden, a cocker spaniel named Dudley and a staff literally made of Love.
The children arrive at their lowest point. Often unable to even look another person in the eye. They are frequently in tears, stone silent or acting out in ways that can only be described as a last ditch effort of self preservation (lashing out to harm others and themselves). We were privileged to have lunch with the school, who sit down every day together family style and eat their lunch together. The children were fantastic. Most had already been there for a few
Lunch was family style.
months and were showing great signs of recovery of self esteem and strength. We celebrated by applause one young girl who had for the first time in three months felt strong enough to sit with the group to eat lunch. Up until yesterday she had had her meals alone upstairs. Finally, eating lunch with her pears did not trigger a PTSD type of response and she felt safe enough and strong enough to do it. The children we sat with (ages 12-16) were quite simply delightful. They were able to converse, giggle, declare a dream, “I could be both the pilot AND the one who cooks the food!” and make us feel both welcome and appreciated at the same time. These were normal kids who for one reason or another had fallen victim to bullying in a way that caused them to wall themselves up and wilt. This loving safe environment, run more like a big house and family than like a school, allowed safety to bloom in every way. Quotes were everywhere that spoke to hearts and souls. The only three rules that had to be agreed upon were: 1) You want to be here, 2) You try your best, 3) You follow the guidelines of the school. The teachers and staff love what they do. Everyone seems to want to be here. The turn around success of children being able to return to “regular” school is fairly swift. Either they return to school, or they are old enough to sit the end of school exam then the students are encouraged to go on to university (some do) or college or meaningful work.
Right on!
This is the very definition of a success story. Statistics show that children who are the victims of bullying often carry their trauma and introversion with them and sink further and further into a pit of feeling useless, left over and hopeless. They more than likely will not contribute to society in a meaningful way and can often turn to drugs or crime or continue to lash out to self or others. This incredible intervention of LOVE and SAFTEY is what reboots them, so to speak, and because they spend a chunk of time in a loving safe environment that also teaches them and schools them they are able to return to society reminded of they strength and wholeness and end up making strong, participating citizens.
After recent news int he USA of several cases where bullying led to children taking their
Dudley looks on.
own lives I can’t make the case strongly enough for this work. I was reminded that joy is found in the unlikely places, where pain and tears once reigned. These were children who had such fear of living joy that all joy had been extinguished and they knew only fear. Love provided the safety needed for them to return fully to themselves. That is all that happened. They had been divided against themselves through fear. Interestingly, many programs are available for the bullies but few programs are available for the victims of bullying. I say all need love and safety and the opportunity to return to themselves. Fear blocks all awareness of joy. First the blocks must be removed then the joy, that is already and still present can be experienced again. Where or how can you extend love and a helping hand to the victims of bullying in your neighborhood? You can always donate to the Red Balloon Learning Center if you desire. We did.
