As I flowed with the crowds exiting the Bakerloo Line to get to the Circle Line I could hear hundreds of all kinds of voices in animated conversation, then I heard the barest strain of something different. A tune, a melody of guitar and mouth organ that became louder with each step. It was a haunting Irish tune that became stronger and more discernible as we neared the musician busking. In the moments it took to pass, the music was all I could hear and the voices seemed to fall away in my awareness. Both music and voices were present and my awareness just shifted in focus and receptivity. It was a lovely example of how all can be present simultaneously and my awareness shifts and turns like a radio picking up a signal. Not-Knowing must be the All I listen to, trying to pick up a signal of what is being created int he moment in front of me.
What have I learned about extending love to my fear of Not-Knowing so far this month?
1. Not-knowing is vast, endless and in everything
2. Knowing is finite, creative & individual
3. It is not wrong, bad or stupid to not know
4. Knowing is still delightful
5. I can’t live in Not-Knowing all of the time
6. I don’t live in Knowing either
7. I need a bigger word that includes Knowing & Not-Knowing (God is a pretty good word.)
8. I am not learning Not-Knowing, I am practicing being comfortable with it
9. Knowing is most delicious when it is preceded by intense Not-Knowing
10. Not-Knowing is my willingness to be with my thoughts and No-Thought with equanimity
Oh Eva, how I understand what it is in “Not Knowing” but having faith in the Savior to know that He will lead in all that is necessary and required to help me through that not knowing and I just need to follow. How sweet are the moments!
I think the Not-Knowing is all about our turning to the One Who Always Knows 🙂 xoxo
Loving your posts, Eva! Thank you for sharing your journey and your inner light <3
Dana
Dearest Dana, so happy to hear from you! Thank you for reading dear one.! xoxo