I was reading an old journal recently and came across this quote I had noted from my then newly hired Life Coach:
“Honesty is transformative.”
I remember thinking at the time that it bloody well would need to be magic to be worth the risk. I was in that phase of life that I now come to think of Boot Camp. You are just slogging through with one thing after another piled on your plate to the point that even a platter isn’t enough and you are dragging around a little red wagon with the mish-mash of your days spilling out all over the place. This was a time of huge transition in all of our lives; my mother was dying (in her last months as we would soon find out), we had a pipe burst under the house which flooded everything and an unscheduled kitchen/laundry remodel showed up, one daughter was in her senior year, the other back in college after a sojourn of adventurous proportions, there was a car accident, a surgery, an unexpected arrival and the last straw was while I was standing at the back of my van putting something in the boot a squirrel peed on my head. I somehow thought it was my job to keep all of these things in their place and to keep going without uttering a peep. I was wrong. The game changer for me was this crazy idea called honesty. This is how honesty showed up unannounced, me screaming (silently to myself of course):
“I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Because I was told by my coach that honesty was allowed, acceptable and possibly even helpful I actually listened to myself and what I was saying. Something had to give. It turns out, it was me.
Transformation often starts with demolition.
Finding the quote about the transformative nature of honesty instantly brought all of the angst, drama, confusion and pain of that time back but I can actually now confirm honesty led the way out of the maelstrom and back into my own heart. I know that this pension for over burdening oneself with responsibility is not just because I was a mother (though I know it contributed). I know many responsible folk who add and add and ADD to their days/nights/weekends with so manny things they are involved in that everyone reaches a feeling of burnout in one way or another at some point. This true dark night of the soul that I experienced was apparently what was necessary for me to wake up and allow (allow!!) myself to consider (!!) honesty as a possibility. That I, even now, must take time (a whole month actually) to spend quality time with honesty because there is still that feeling of “Uh OH!!” when honesty is expressed only shows we all have a long way to come to fully accept, treasure, appreciate and feel ultimately incredibly grateful for this powerful quality of love.
Say YES to honesty when it brims over in your heart, do not fear its transformative power. It is not that you are being transformed into something else it is that you get to witness and feel the transformative power of love within you. Trust me, it it is worth the risk. The only thing being “demolished” is that veil of insanity we peer through when looking at our life. Honesty can return us instantly to our hearts. Try it today.
Please share your experiences with the transformative power of honesty in your own lives (and other last straws which led to honesty).
Honesty is a lost virtue in our society. Far too many have learned to be dishonest for their own self-gratification, and when caught will voice “I never did this before”.
Often we are reminded that the heart has secrets which it cannot share with anyone, not even with itself. The secrets of the heart are the raw material of the genuine spirit of the individual. They are the stuff of the Spirit that dwells deep within each one of us.
Oh Howard, your words are honey to my soul: “secrets are the raw material of the genuine spirit of the individual”…so delicious. I love your heart! xoxo
I certainly can testify! This past week I set my intention for greater expression of honesty in my life, and I succeeded beyond my expectations.
The intention helped me to be more AWARE of what my truth/honest feelings and needs were in the first place, then to express that truth/honesty appropriately. It was awesome! Example #1: I had plans to get together with a friend on Sunday, but Sunday morning I realized that I had other things I wanted to do that day, and I had the thought that I hoped she would cancel, so I texted her and asked if we could change our plan. Easy enough to ask. Sure enough it worked out well for her, too, so the change gave me the freedom to handle things I preferred to accomplish that day.
Example #2: I am on a medication that I believe is responsible for several difficult side effects in my body. I had the thought of stopping the medication without telling my husband or my doctor. The red flag went up, asking me what was I afraid of, so I had the conversation with my husband & got great support from him. My intention is to tell my doctor after some time has passed without the medication, so I can tell him of my decision and any changes that might take place after stopping the medication.
Oh, Boy!! I’m liking this very much. I feel a greater integrity and self-empowerment! I am grateful!!
You GO girl!! Isn’t it funny how when we have the intention of honesty we are given, almost immediately, the opportunity to test-drive our intention. Love it!! xoxo