I feel a withdrawing sadness/what’s the point energy today (maybe for a few days?). I would toss it off as tiredness, but it feels both deeper and more on the surface than usual. I can’t tell if it is overcommitment or being dishonest in making the commitments in the first place. Or is it that deeper churn of my own children entering new phases in their young adult lives that I can only watch and welcome whatever I am feeling within myself?
Me: Please help me extend the tenderest love and awareness even as I ask for guidance. Thank you.
I extend generosity to this thought.
Sadness, what do you need my friend, everything and anything is at your disposal. What decision do I need to make?
HS: Live whole without division.
Me: What causes division?
HS: These thoughts: “What if?”, “maybe”, “I’m not sure”, “later”, “There is something wrong”, denial’s “I can’t think about it”
Me: Can I be sure in the presence of uncertainty Sure of what? Sure of who?
HS: Sure of Love
Time to go within.
Sure of Love’s Presence
Sure of Love’s Power
Sure of Love’s Perspicacity
Sure of Love’s Generosity
Sure of Love’s Willingness
Me: What is uncertainty anyway?
HS: A not known; a delay; a possibility in utero; a purpose in the bud; a signal for love; a reminder I am not looking within
Me: When I go within I feel peace, wholeness, certainty, confidence, gentleness and joy
Uncertainty is when I have decided to focus on what is happening out in front of my eyes instead of withing my heart of hearts.
HS: Certainty can always be experienced within the arms of Love:
wholeness of purpose
tenderness of care
gentleness of comfort
delight of joy
power of strength
efficaciousness of wholeness
Me: Thank you Holy Spirit, I had forgotten. The evidence of uncertainty is compelling, it’s reasons mesmerizing. Help me to feel you and continue to trust and listen for all guidance. Thank you.
I understand completely. Sometimes it seems as though I am a video on fast forward and I cannot find the remote to stop or slow the film down so that it makes sense.
I guess this is the purpose of pain/discomfort, to remind us to pause, look and feel (kind of like stop, drop & roll if you are on fire) to return to ourselves. Pause right now and take three deep breaths (i’m doing it too) and remember “There is enough”, “There is nothing wrong” & “God is always with me”. xoxo