I am beginning to wish I had not listened to the Holy Spirit and chosen extending love to my fear of honesty. And I certainly wish I hadn’t told anybody. I am in a funk today for no apparent reason. I could call up a few reasons and try to make those stories the “why” of my funk but that feels less than honest (again I say damned honesty). I just woke up with a great sense of heaviness on my chest, a tightly-wound, imploding sort of energy. It feels like a personal version of a black hole. And nothing untoward has happened. I want to run from this energy but must take my own advice and run toward my Self. The weird thing is I had such a sense of waking up from really involved dreams when I woke. I feel almost like whatever I dreamt left me besieged somehow. Never mind. I don’t want to make up a story of why I feel this way. I kind of feel like THERE IS NOTHING WRONG…..but not quite. So I called my sister-in-law, went to the grocery store, wrote a thank you note and generally accepted that i (small i intentional as that is how I feel at the moment) was not going to get anything done today that I planned. I can live with that. (pause for deep sighing breath)
What I need to write is my hints and tips for when extending love to your thoughts feels impossible. So here goes.
10 Things To Do When Extending Love Is Impossible
1. Take a walk (if you must run, don’t tell me about it)
2. Write a thank you note (or three) to thank anyone for anything. Go ahead and send it.
3. Breathe deeply and consciously (loudly if necessary, think dramatic sighing)
4. Find something to be honest about and say it out loud. (Say “NO, I don’t want to go.” if you don’t want to go. Count the number of M&M’s you ate and tell someone. Tell your dog you love him, be really mushy if you like.)
5. Call a friend and tell her you miss her
6. Drink a diet A&W Root beer with lots of ice (you may substitute you own favorite beverage here)
7. Ask God to leave you alone (won’t happen but being sassy feels good)
8. Take a nap (this is one of my favorite ways to return to my sense of self when I have been swallowed by a black hole)
9. Cry out loud. (sniffling into a tissue just won’t cut it) Really let it out. It only lasts a few seconds but releases some of the pent-up-ness you are feeling by not extending love
10. Remember it is OK not to extend love just BE love for heavens sake. Love, in any form, is ALWAYS ENOUGH.
Being snarky or having a case of the Terrible Two’s just feels good sometimes, to bring into balance all that goody-goody crap! LOL
It comes to pass….
Love you muchly,
Jill
Sometimes just the word snarky feels good;) xoxo
The good news…Love comes in a multitude of flavors. Like going into Howard Johnson’s Ice Cream Parlous…you should find a flavor that makes your day.
I’d rather go to Howard Anderson’s lol! xoxo
Sounds like a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Maybe you should go to Australia!
Oh that is a grand idea!! (I LOVE that book, for obvious reasons;) I am sitting on the beach at Bondi in my mind and can feel the sand between my toes and hear the surf crashing, sea gulls squawking and the sun beaming down on my face…..ahhhhhhhhhh!