It is late (or early depending on how you look at it) and I cannot sleep. This thought keeps churning in my head like a dog that can’t find a comfortable spot on the blanket: “I am afraid of not working.” After getting up and finally looking at this thought (I extend noticing to this thought) the truer thought was revealed: “I am afraid of not creating value.” I want to always create value; in time, experience, object, design, moment and reason. I judge harshly something I see as lacking in value–either something I do/don’t do or something others do/don’t do. Do I see lack of value? Where do I see lack of value? What does this mean? HS please help me here in peace and clarity. What would be the most helpful to me right now? Oh crap. I judge value/lack of value very harshly and constantly. What do I do now? I would say these thoughts re value/lack of value are at the basis of most of my angst.
So I love value but extend no love to what I perceive as lack of value? This is really bugging me. What do I do with this seeing? Do I see myself as without value???? Holy Sh**!! I DO see myself this way unless I am doing “something of value” or something that will produce value for others. THIS is at the heart of my tiredness.
I extend mercy to this thought.
I feel as if I must either produce value or help someone else produce value. And I see there is nothing wrong with a desire to produce/create value but something seems off. I feel completely driven and anxious to my core if I don’t create value in avery moment. WTF Holy Spirit??!!
I extend perfection to this thought.
HS: Can a child of God produce anything that is not value?
Me: This feels impossible. Im-passable. I don’t see how I can see or be without value. What is value really?
Value is a way of seeing.
Vision
Acceptance
Love
Understanding
Ease
Vision Accepts Love’s Understanding Ease.
HS: Value is a way of seeing. Seeing intrinsic worth, capability and treasure.
Value is seeing wholeness and perfection within all things. The part is the same as the whole.
Value sees in truth.
Value is not price.
Value is usability not usefulness.
Value is the natural is-ness of a person, thing, event or circumstance. Nothing is without value. That would be like saying something is but not quite.
Me: I fall into valuing, or rather de-valuing when I feel devalued. When do I feel devalued? When someone asks me for something I cannot or will not give. When someone wants something of me I am unwilling to share. What are they really asking for? Is it my heart I am unwilling to share? What does this mean?
How can I express the value that I am?
HS: Dearest One, you are seeing that there is but a small blockage to your awareness of love in a particular area. When you notice this de-valuing sensation, pause, ask for the tenderness of love to come pouring through you and illuminate the moment you are in. In devaluing you forget the value of Love. Love is invaluable. It is ever present and in the moments you forget you feel bereft and lost. Of course you feel this, how else could you feel? Love IS you darling, when you don’t feel Love you don’t feel your Self. When you don’f feel your Self you feel loss. Again, in those moment of that sense of loss of value stop and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that Value is ever present. Ask how you can express the value that you are in this moment. Then you will not seek to trump up a pretend value to make up for the loss you are feeling. Love is your value. Expressing Love is how you remember this.
Eva, you have great insight for un-earthing core issues that are blockages to the awareness of Love’s Presence! Great job!!
My best friend Ruth (Enneatype 9 – the Peacemaker) often feels bad that she is not more like me (Enneatype 2 – the Giver/Helper) who takes action, takes risks, puts myself out there, and accomplishes much. She embodies peace, harmony, listening, joining, wholeness, and Presence. How wonderful she is! It is hard for her to hear and remember that. The issue of “value” is at the core here. She does accomplish things, of course, but that is not her main gift. She is such a great gift to me. Nobody else in my life compares with the joy her friendship gives me.
Thank you for bringing this to awareness to reflect on. I sure do need to be more aware of my own value when I am not accomplishing anything, too.
We are pure LOVE. All the time. period. (or exclamation mark!)
The funny thing is that, really, Love is accomplishing EVERYTHING! Love is doing and being in all of us all the time. My thoughts of “not” accomplishing are pure judgment of Love not being “enough”. It is so delicious to remember we are, as you say, pure LOVE all the time!! xoxo