Today I want to pause and remember why I started this blog and project of extending love to my epic fears. I had come to the end of a phase of spiritual study and teaching with some dearly beloved friends and was honestly worried I would *lose* my awareness and trust and USE of this powerful Voice of Love that flows through me (that flows through all of us). I had established a strong and deep practice of daily meditation and writing and a seemingly constant practice of extending love to my thoughts. But now I was going to do this *alone*.
Even five months into this project it is plainly obvious I am not alone, nor could I be. I am most definitely more all-One than alone and feeling much more confident in this truth and my own personal experience of this truth. I have spent a good four years carving out time to be alone, by myself with God. As I was able to begin to notice, trust, rely on and listen to my self I have strengthened my relationship to my Self, the Holy Spirit, the Universe, the Field of Love, God. The daily nature of recording my experiences makes acknowledging the process of living with holiness a reality I can bank on. Now was the time to take my holiness to the streets. I wanted to know if I could experience the peace, joy and infinite calm that I experience in my meditation and prayer while I was out in the world of my daily life. Hence, my blog.
Every Day is Joyful.
It is funny that my fear of EVERY DAY didn’t really surface in my awareness until now. Obviously it was present in month one, but I was focusing my love on to the fear of commitment and didn’t think of the every day nature of commitment. A funny thing happened on the way to extending love to my fear of commitment, namely, being committed (and realizing just how committed I was and am). Each month has already been a practice of every day yet I still *saw* myself as fearing EVERY DAY. It has taken all this month to begin to see I am *not* afraid of EVERY DAY, in fact, I love it.
I may even look back on my Twelvemonth of Self Love and see the month of extending love to EVERY DAY as the tipping point where I began to stake my claim on my own heart and know that nothing CAN separate me from the Love of God because I am made of the Love of God, it is my DNA. Don’t misunderstand, I still most assuredly fall from grace in most spectacular ways. Just yesterday after a challenging conversation I was left leaking tears of frustration, bewilderment and regret for hours. Yet, my new found love for EVERY DAY led me to do what I always do: go within, ask, listen, follow my guidance and trust that no matter what it all looks like, Love is fully present and in charge and All Is Well.
