After celebrating my daughter’s 21 st birthday yesterday (in fact the fun continues for the next few days;) I was asking myself, what is it I am actually letting go in seeing her move on into what the world seems to agree on as adulthood, after all she has been living on her own at college, flew to Italy alone last summer and has already voted in a Presidential election? When I think of letting go as saying goodbye I am filled with conflicting emotions, happy/sad, delight/doubt, jubilation/trepidation. When I allow the thought of letting go as possibly me opening my eyes and letting go of some past story I am forced to witness what IS. Nothing has changed. In fact, my gratitude just deepened in a way to include all ages past, present and future. But the only real age is NOW. Right now, my daughter is present both in the house, and in my heart. In a few weeks she will not be present in the house as she is taking her next semester in college in Bath, England but she will remain fully in my heart. I can feel into her “-ness” as we call it any time I am feeling that I am missing her. I can communicate, treasure, pray for and delight in all that she is whether she is present in body or not.
Utterly relax into the Light.
I found this beautiful passage which really aids the idea of letting go is really opening my eyes rather than losing something:
“As magnificent as all [forms] are, they are not IT. The every changing dramas of your lives are not what you are looking for. Whatever has the capacity to change is NOT IT. What you are looking for is something so immediate, so ever present, so immense, that you have missed it.
I repeat, the immediacy of the vast “I”, the God-Self, the Light, is so ever present that you MISS IT!
Who sees? Who hears? Who breathes?
It is the awareness we ask you to be willing to experience fully. THIS is what you discover within who you imagine yourself to be. That is when you totally and utterly relax into the Light with no effort whatsoever. And then you do what you have done before, see, hear, breathe. It is all the same but totally different.”——–Journeys With A Brother: Japan to India by Bartholomew and the Dalai Lama
So aging is not IT. I guess all I am letting go is my story of who I am and who my daughter is. The truth is, in this moment I know we are one heart, always loving, abiding and trusting in what we are being now. Isn’t this what God/Holy Spirit/Love is doing too?
This was beautiful thank you. Eva, I like you always have my children and grandchildren in my heart and mind, but when I really miss them I close my eyes and picture them in their homes, at school, walking around campus, teaching a Zumba class and somehow that brings them right to me and the missing goes away for a bit.
I love how you expressed this Vicki! Thank you for sharing:) xo