There are times I question the path I am on. This spiritual path of knowing and trusting that not only God is Love but Love is God called me by name and I could not NOT answer. It would have been easier staying in church but that felt so limiting somehow. No doubt it was a limit I imposed on myself but even though I am happy where and who I am, I long for the old days of certainty. This is a path of embracing not-knowing. Sometimes, like today, the not-knowing is just too big and I want to go back to KNOWing without shadow or doubt. Time to extend love to my thoughts.
I extend beauty to this thought.
HS: Dear One,
Please take a moment to see the beauty present in exactly the path you are on.
Me: It includes everyone. It feels good. No one is excluded. I am more relaxed. It feels whole, true and loving.
HS: Now see the beauty in the path of your past.
Me: I loved Jesus. (still do like crazy) I loved going to church and love my church friends. I love the Bible (still do). I learned the power of prayer (which I still practice). I loved the strength of conviction.
HS: Now give thanks for all the beauty of all paths which all lead unto the Truth.
Me: Thank you Jesus for showing us the way, the truth and the life. Thank you Holy Spirit for daily, moment by moment experience of love and for your voice in the world. Thank you for giving me a way to fully embrace the infinite flavors and qualities of love.
**Today I let go of the worry and guilt comparison can bring.
I can’t believe how much we beat ourselves up in comparison of our ability/availability to worship. My husband, a self avowed “catholic going to a Methodist church” has often compared the catholic view of church as an obligation with the Methodist view of church is service. I realized that although not catholic, I had the same view due to the upbringing we had and the constant attendance to a college-like environment. I am much happier with attending once a week (or not if I have homework or need a mental health day) and serving my community with the time freed up NOT being in church.
I always felt that piece lacking in my religious, if you will, upbringing. Then early in my adulthood, I attended a church that demanded service – have a kid? have to teach and spend time in the nursery. These are not services I feel called to perform and I do not like them. Creating, buying supplies and teaching crafts (something the other teachers hated), organizing the supplies of teaching aids and A/V, now THAT was something I could do and help not only the children but take the burden of that off the teachers. I was not allowed to do just that; teaching was still required. REALLY? No respect for spiritual gifts? WTH.
I think we have to be free to let the HS guide us on our path. We cannot do that if we let others dictate what they think our worship/service should be.
Just my two cents. xo
Holy Spirit guides us in our own hearts, how else would we know God was with us in all things? Thanks for sharing! xo