4. Day 19: Let Go OH NO!

Letting go today was all about letting go of my old friend panic.  Every time I thought “OH NO!” (Oh no, I’m not ready/ Oh no, I’m too busy and I don’t have enough time/ Oh no, it’s NOT time to eat again/ Oh no, I’m too tired for this now) in prepping for meetings, Crocker tours, writing a blog post, wondering what we would have for dinner I let go (again) of “Oh NO!!”  It became my mantra today “LET GO OH NO/ LET GO OH NO/ LET GO OH NO”.  I am grateful for this practice even though (especially) it shows me how I cling to worry, panic, and thoughts of responsibility for all.  I keep feeling myself as exhausted, in a binding of resistance and desperately  wanting serious down time with nothing scheduled.  Honestly I almost feel too tired to hear you Holy Spirit.  Though.  Here I am, so I must be just a little bit open and desiring that cooling delicious voice for love that is but a breath away.

Me:  Please help me quiet myself to listen.  I need and want to feel and hear your Voice today.  Thank you.

HS:  Precious One,

This is indeed your process because this is what is happening.  As you embrace, acknowledge

Let go OH NO!

and allow this process you will feel uplifted in unexpected ways.  Allow yourself to flow into each moment of not-knowing with openness and ease, let the not-knowing give its gifts for they are especially created for you in each moment.

Fear not the rising eddies of panic (and doubt), this is but upward moving, outward moving energy; like a plane on an aircraft carrier ready to take off yet still restrained.

Let go of the need to restrain or re-train this energy and let it serve you.

**Today I let go of figuring out dinner.  Amazingly others in the household were perfectly able to figure it out for themselves and thankfully for me too:)