3. Day 25: Gratitude Is Good For What Ails You
I am feeling low, like I want to stay in bed for a week. The last few weeks have been incredibly hectic with nearly every moment scheduled. Time to extend love. I extend absolution to this thought. Interestingly I feel guilty both for wanting to stay in bed AND for the week being so full. (why do I always do that?). I also feel guilty for the thought of canceling everything (or anything really). Finally I remember to ask. Me: What is it I really need/want to do? HS (gave me this list which will guide me over the next days): bath, water, cleansing tea, nap, one day at a time, make a list,...
Read More3. Day 24: No Room At The Gym
I am beginning to realize that guilt feels bad because it is a contraction rather than an expansion. It is the contraction or constricting that feels bad, not the fact that guilt is the truth about me (which it isn’t). I had a wonderful guilt opportunity the other day when having tea with a friend. We were at Bella Bru, me sipping green tea, my friend sipping Diet Coke when our conversation got around to “We really should take a yoga class together!” We both have memberships at 24 Hr Fitness which is next door so we decided to go over and see when the yoga classes that...
Read More3. Day 23: Why Meditate?
The other day I ran across a brilliant answer to “Why meditate?” The answer I give most often is “Because it feels good and returns me to peace and wholeness.”, but the answer below gives the “why” behind my feelings of peace, joy and wholeness. “Meditation is how you can consistently pay attention to what is. This inner feeling, this knowingness, this awareness that begins to arise in you, if consistently paid attention to, will tell you directly all that you need to know. Inside the space of your body and inside the space of your psyche, there...
Read More3. Day 22: Ask Or Be-little?
I notice that still, in certain circumstances, I make myself less-than or highlight my fear qualities (including, perhaps especially with, guilt) in order to make another feel equal or safe. (Or am I making myself feel safe and equal???) Is this necessary? Is it meeting someone where they are or am I kidding myself? How do I remain true to Love’s Vastness and to my own local self and brother too? HS: Ask. Ask in the moment. Ask in quiet time. Ask your brother. Ask. Ask. Ask. ASK. When you feel this tendency to be-little yourself ask: “How can I remain whole...
Read More3. Day 21: Are You Love-able?
I am beginning to realize I am afraid to let my fears go. What is being revealed is that I see my fears almost as friends (known, protective and comforting). The question is do I really want to let my fears, including guilt, go? I honestly don’t know. I would like to experience a time of utter fearlessness to see. I hate to admit that imagining this is nye impossible, even after so much practice extending love to my fears. I am not as afraid of my fears as I once was but still am not sure letting them go entirely will serve me. How do I proceed, I don’t even know what to...
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