2. Day 16: Oh Joy. Oh Crap.
Today’s fear in the “21 Fear Salute” is ever present in each one of us. It may be what is behind the two-year old declaring “I DO IT MYSELF!” as much as it is behind the 40 year old Mom cursing under her breath “I always have to do everything myself!” Why are we so afraid to ask for help? What do we think this says about us? That we are losers? weenies? hopeless & ill plan-worthy? Or is the fear of asking for help serving a deeper purpose? 7. Fear of Asking for Help The fear of asking for help is also about my own desire to control...
Read More2. Day 15: “Take Two Days at the Hyatt & Call Me In The Mourning”
I must admit, extending love to depression and my fear of looking at it is challenging me in my depths. It is as if I am inhabiting depression or it is inhabiting me to allow me to write and love from that authentic place within that is truth. It is no accident (darn it!) that today I got to look at and extend love to this fear (in the “21 Fear Salute”) in depression: 6. Fear of Truth What am I afraid of here? That I will discover that I have suffered from, ignored, covered over, been annoyed at and left as lost luggage this miasma of depression? I don’t feel...
Read More2. Day 14: The Flavors of Love
Just in case anyone is feeling tired of looking fear in the eyes I will let you know I am feeling a bit the same way. I mean, why can’t we just focus on love? I am realizing that is exactly what is happening with my willingness to look at fear. Fear IS just a call for love and looking at it is answering in love. So let’s dive into another fear from the “21 Fear Salute”, shall we? 5. The Fear of Vastness Me: Holy Spirit, “the fear of vastness” seems like the same fear as “fear of the bigger picture”, is it? How can I extend love to...
Read More2. Day 13: “Interview With A Fear”
Looking at the “21 Fear Salute” is giving me pause. I am forced to really stop and look closely at the interrelated fears that make up this cloaking of my joy and nature of love we know as depression. I keep thinking that something else will come to me about depression but it seems that witnessing and welcoming 21 fears is enough for now. Perhaps once my fears are all present and accounted for, they will feel safe enough to not feel fearful any more. So let’s tackle the fear of the bigger picture. 4. Fear of the Bigger Picture HS: Why is the bigger picture frightening?...
Read More2. Day 12: The Seat of Suffering
I have noticed that a characteristic of depression, and most suffering actually, is a deep unwillingness. Me: HS, please tell me about this. Why is unwillingness a part of suffering? How can we deal with a powerful deadening sense of unwillingness? HS: Dearest One, Unwillingness is at the seat of suffering. Unwilling to be here now. Unwilling to face this moment. Unwilling to feel pain. Unwilling to open eyes. Unwilling to know Love’s presence. Unwilling to hope. Unwilling to care. Unwilling to experience peace. Unwilling to experience joy. Unwilling to know the truth. Unwilling to...
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