I am finding trouble accessing the feelings of fear I have for depression. Somehow just (!) being willing to meet and greet something that has caused me grief, confusion, anger, loneliness and silence is lessening all these feelings. I feel almost cheerful, hopeful even, in greeting and welcoming depression.
This makes no sense.
Me: How can I extend love to a fear if I am not feeling it in the moment? Am I healed already?
HS: Dear One,
Be glad in this moment you are not experiencing your fear. This does not prevent you from extending much tender awareness to the state of depression. This state, indeed, affects millions of your brothers. They desire clarity, peace and hopefulness. This is yours to give. Fear not plunging in.
Me. Ok. The “21 Fear Salute” that came to me the first night seems a good place to dive in.
What does this even mean?
HS: Precious One, a closed system of thought allows no flow of life. This does not mean life is not fully present but the flow and feel of life is not felt. A closed system of thought is not aware of itself. It is closed in order to bring awareness on.
Closed thought systems almost entirely resist awareness, consciousness and a perspective of truth. This is because fear makes it feel unsafe to be aware and conscious of truth.
I extend innocence to this thought.
This closed system means no harm. It is a barn full of powerful horses but the door is
The barn is safe.
bolted. Allow yourself to picture lifting the heavy bolt latch on the door.
Nothing else.
Just stand with the thoughts knowing the door is now unbolted. Fear not the opening of the door. You have everything you need within you.
You have feared letting loose for your have believed you are not up to the task of fully feeling the flow of life. This flow cannot harm you. It will not harm you.
This flow is incapable of harming you.
Notice your milling horses in the barn, the powerful thoughts of loneliness, danger, pointlessness and boredom. Extend your hand to these thoughts that mean you no harm. Rub their noses, pat a flank, and admire their physique.
Now remember again the door is unbolted.
This is enough for now. Just remember the door is unbolted.
