Today’s fear in the “21 Fear Salute” is ever present in each one of us. It may be what is behind the two-year old declaring “I DO IT MYSELF!” as much as it is behind the 40 year old Mom cursing under her breath “I always have to do everything myself!” Why are we so afraid to ask for help? What do we think this says about us? That we are losers? weenies? hopeless & ill plan-worthy? Or is the fear of asking for help serving a deeper purpose?
The fear of asking for help is also about my own desire to control both probability and outcome. Truly, deeply I want the best for all. My own mantra (I stole from the Hard Rock cafe) has been “Love all. Serve all.” for decades. I am also a teensy, weensy bit certain that my way is the best what to accomplish this.
Wow. Was I wronger than wrong every thought it could be.
My way was “good only”; this included kind, nice, mannerly and comfortable. I literally had no way to interpret, accept or even notice the bad stuff (heartache, disappointment, grief or betrayal) much like the indigenous people who were not able to “see” Captain Cooks ships arriving over the horizon because they simply had no reference for it nor did they yet perceive what was happening, namely that invasion was immanent. The great gift of bad stuff is when you finally look at the bad stuff, feel it, taste it, be overwhelmed by it so that you will learn the truth:
LOVE IS HERE TOO.
How else could we learn unconditional love except to be driven head on into a perfect storm of conditions we thought love could not possibly tolerate. Oh joy. Oh crap. Why oh why is love like that? Because Love, real Love, is incapable of judging any thing and anyone as outside Love.
Let this sink into your depths as a stone the size of a watermelon sinks to the bottom of a swimming pool.
Love blooms when asked.
Let this truth settle at the bottom of your heart–the seed which bears profusely the fruits of the spirit:
Love accepts all things.
Love notices all things.
Love allows all things.
Love creates all things.
Love loves all things.
You, my friend, ARE love.
Asking for help is what reminds you that you are indeed love. Asking puts you in touch with your deeply divine self, your heart which is filled with the true Spirit that you are. Asking puts you in the frame of mind to hear, once again, the truth and guidance you yearn for.
ASK and you shall receive. Depression, take note, asking for help puts you back in connection with your wholeness which includes life, love and your very own strength.
When I was getting chemotherapy following surgery for breast cancer I needed plenty of help. My ego thoughts told me that asking for help meant that I believed I was weak and identifying with a sick body. But Spirit told me that I was in a position of allowing Love (aka “other people”) to express their love to me. It was a blessing to allow that love to flow to me. Others thanked me for allowing them to give to me. It was humbling & powerful. Who do I think I am? I am an expression of Divine Life allowing Love to be given and received! Yay! Amen
Amen and amen and amen! xoxo
Great post! It reminds me of two things 1) I had a Mary Kay director tell me early in my MK career that by not asking for help we’re depriving others the joy of giving. We’re “stealing” that from them. That conversation with her had a great impact on me. 2) There’s a song I hear quite often on KLOVE (I can’t remember the name/artist) that says “God put a million millon doors for his love to walk through, you are one of those doors. I think we truly love others and ourselves when we can offer help when needed and ask for help when we need it. Now I just need to remember to practice that. 🙂
I love the image of a million million doors that God’s Love walks through!! Thanks for sharing Deb!