Have you ever noticed this jet laggy sort of experience that happens between when you pray (or ask or set an intention or surrender) and when you feel or see the answer? I’d call it Spirit-lag but somehow that makes it sound like Spirit is lagging behind me, late or otherwise occupied when it is most likely me who is late or otherwise occupied. In the geological sense Spirit IS instantaneous, but I am looking through a microscopic tolerance of light. I make myself laugh sometimes that when I actually manage to remember to ASK within, pray, intend etc that when I don’t see it immediately I then proceed to winge internally for a bit. Usually I must “sleep on it” either in the form of a good night’s sleep or a nap. Even a few moments of eyes closed and deep slow breathing will suffice if it is a full day. After this self imposed rest, I am once again reconnected to the peace and grace that I have come to know is the truth about me and my occasionally cockeyed view of the universe. I am amazed and thrilled and giddy once again having forgotten grace is forever present.
Yesterday I had high-dived into discouragement, thinking that perhaps writing wasn’t for me or at least certainly didn’t matter to anyone else so was perhaps not the best use of my time. This morning I am renewed by the unknown forces of grace and can’t for the life of me remember what or why I felt so discouraged. Judgment is pretty discouraging and immediately blocks my awareness of the presence of Love so that explains why I felt left out. I had left myself out thinking “I” (or at least my work) wasn’t worthy.
Waiting to feel Spirit is like waiting for an emu to hatch; unpredictable yet inevitable!
I am getting better at weathering Spirit-lag. I now know it happens. I lose my awareness of Love’s presence and am tired/sulky/startled/unhappy for some reason; I pause, breathe, go within and ASK (this looks a lot like prayer and meditation but really happens all in an instant) and follow the guidance I am given. I don’t instantly feel better but am usually directed towards feeling better………….I just have to wait a bit until I actually feel this. I guess this makes sense when you imagine that feeling unhappy, fractious or angry kind of tenses everything up. My breath, heart, thoughts and awareness are tied up in knots (or nots more likely) until I do these 5 things:
5 Things To Do When You Experience Spirit-lag
1) Notice this (Thank you for taking time to extend love to my feelings)
2) Allow it
3) Realize “I could feel peace instead of this” (as A Course In Miracles states)
4) Go within and ASK for guidance
5) Follow my guidance (even if it is to take a nap, cry or write an email)
Only after I do these five things do I start to relax a little into Spirit’s loving care. No wonder it takes awhile for me to feel the peace again. It takes time for me to unwind my grip from thinking I need to control the universe. Even as I create the life in front of me I do not do it alone, I do it ALL-ONE. The conscious creating takes place when I am joined with Holy Spirit and ride the flow of peace and joy and guidance even as I go through fear and startlement and uncertainty.
And writing about it helps me DO IT. (this may explains my wordiness)
