I am experiencing the law of attraction in a most helpful manner. Since I have begun my month of extending love to the fear of success people are literally coming out of the woodwork to help, assist, offer a new perspective and cheer me on with great suggestions. I have received videos, articles, memes that have truly helped me on my journey to opening to how success is but another part of me, not separate from me. It is as if success itself, even the idea of it, is a light shining into my depths to show me my tight or dark places resistant to loving. One such thought was a meme sent by a good friend and reader in Australia. It is but a phrase but sent me straight to the dictionary and a time of quiet with the Holy Spirit. It is a work in progress.
The comment at the right suggests that extreme modesty can stop us reaching our full potential. It got me thinking about modesty and how that could possibly have any bearing on someone who perpetually wears red glasses with sparkles and bright red lipstick and what’s more lives and loves passionately. Well, you are about to find out. When I read the dictionary definition of modest I was not terribly surprised by the expected “free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness (though I might have cringed a little with this one having posted yesterday’s “Ten Things I Love About Me”) or great pretensions. I was not surprised to see “having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech or dress”. What began to feel uncomfortable was the definition of “having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one’s merits and importance”. This must by where the sticking point is for success. How does one succeed without declaring some form of higher estimate of one’s merits or the importance of what you are doing? I had to admit giving a bold estimate of my own merit or importance is not easy. On the other hand, I am a terrific cheerleader. I praise the merits, importance and value of others shamelessly. But with myself? “Oh it was nothing.” or “You are just the same.”. Hmmph. But wasn’t I always told modesty is a good thing? That it simply wasn’t polite to boast or brag. Oh sure, you can brag about how beautiful and smart your kids are but yourself, um, that is a big no-no. Why?
Love loves seeing who you really are.
I think it is because it hits a bit close to the truth of who you are. (Spoiler alert: you are the child of God; you are divine and infinite love and possess all the qualities of that love). It is the story of warning Icarus against flying to close to the sun lest we be burned up all over again. What really caused me to sit slack-jawed was reading the synonyms and antonyms. Read ’em and weap:
modest, adj.
synonyms: bashful, chaste, demure, discreet, humble, lowly, nice, proper, prudent, quiet, reserved, self-conscious, simple, unassertive, unobtrusive, withdrawn, cheap, average, economical, fair, moderate, reasonable, small
antonyms: arrogant, assured, bold, brave, conceited, courageous, egotistical, self-confident, unabashed, unashamed, extraordinary, ostentatious, presumptuous, unlimited
When I noticed that the opposite of modest had brave and courageous squeezed in between conceited and egotistical and that nice and proper was just another way to say modest I wanted to wilt. I have rather made a habit out of choosing “nice”. In that marvelous attempt at not offending, which in my book means leaving someone out. My greatest fear has always been to be left out so naturally I wouldn’t want to leave someone out by offending them. Proper, another way to describe modest, is just another way of saying “doing it right”. And that was drilled into us as children from the way to write a good thank-you note to which silver cutlery to place in which order beside the plate. When my brother was getting married he remarked to his fiance (now wife of 20+ years) that our family is quite formal. I chided him that we were definitely not formal, what on earth was he talking about? We laughed, talked etc what formal is he talking about? At that very moment they were opening a gift from our mother, a sterling silver pizza cutter. He just looked at me and held said silver pizza cutter aloft with the biggest “I told you so face” ever invented. Oh. So that is what is meant by formal?
Love uses whatever is needed to expose the truth that we are love.
In perusing the “two sides” of modesty both synonym and antonym I, of course, found myself on both sides of the line. I wanted both nice and self confident. I want to be able to experience both quiet and unabashed courageousness. I want simple and ostentatious to choose from. I realized at that moment that my fear of not wanting to leave anyone out was holding the space for me to see that what I really didn’t want to do was to leave out any of the qualities of love. That it is quite possible to let love in all of its many colors and forms choose for itself whether to be quiet, or unlimited; brave or small; economical or ostentatious. If I continued to be open to extending love in all conditions and circumstances I do get to have it all. I can be modest and brave. If I choose extreme loving then nothing gets left out because love is free to use any and all manner at hand to express the truth to me or through me. In other words love can use modest or brave, courageous or limited, ostentatious or quiet in any given moment. This way, I know no part of me (or anyone else) can ever be left out.
