In this month I have spent with tiredness (extending love, honesty, understanding, awareness and trust etc) I can honestly say “What was I afraid of again??” I now know, down to my [still occasionally weary] toes that tiredness is but my reminder to pause, breathe and go within. Immediately if not sooner. I can see that tiredness covers a multitude of sins of love’s omission. When I think about, worry about, brag or complain about tiredness, I am missing its precious gift. Only when I stop and really notice, welcome, allow and be with tiredness does it reveal its true purpose: the reminder to go within. Tiredness is not asking to be catalogued, avoided, covered over, ignored or denied. It asks only to be noticed as the reminder it is to me (and you) to pause and go within. Ask yourself; “What do I need in this moment?”, “What quality of love can I extend right now? (quiet, gentleness, strength, awareness, forgiveness), “Please guide me in this moment to my own peace and joy”. In this way, I am reminded of my own heart and connection to God, the One Who IS Always Love. Once I am reminded of this, my tiredness truly fades away into mist. I may experience a tired physical body, but the Holy Spirit guides me in just what I can do/be/notice that will unite me once again with my ongoing awareness of Love’s presence.
Tiredness is a reminder to go within.
I have honestly loved this month of extending love to tiredness. It has allowed me to bring it out in the open, much like cleaning out my garage and discovering all those wonderful things I forgot were stored there (the antique book collection, the paintings from my grandmother, that weird but breath-taking plaster face impression Dad made in dental school) and get them out and enjoy, use or let go all that was stored there. I reminded myself again and again that fear AS tiredness, like fear of commitment, depression, letting go, EVERY DAY and guilt are all ways I come up with that block my awareness of Love’s EVER-PRESENCE. It is with great relief that I uncover a new ancient fear or annoyance to focus my love-ability on. I am not nearly as afraid of my fears and now I feel like I am continuing a big clean out or dousing an old fire.
Let Nature Do Her Work
Right now, in Northern California, we are experiencing a terrible drought. An extensive fire has raged for days and weeks in El Dorado and Placer counties and beyond. A few days ago we had our first hint of autumn rain (the first in months). I loved reading that the tremendous firefighters of the King fire stood back for a brief, but well earned rest to “let Mother Nature do her work”. That is really what extending love to fear is all about. I am not really doing anything but finally standing back and letting my Holy Nature do its work. In this way my gauzy fears are shown for what they are a tiny brief attempt to close my eyes and forget the beautiful truth of who I am. When the fire of fear rages, it seems impossible to believe Love still exists, let alone extend a color or quality of Love. But the more I do this, Love and God and Peace and Joy are what feels real and true so when my fears show up (and they do) I recognize more quickly “Oh, this is not the truth about me (or my brother, or this situation, or the world), I can go within and ASK, pray, be still a moment and return home to my heart. And my heart, is and always will be, the truth about me.
At this point you would think that I couldn’t possible find another fear in my closet. Oh but I can. What is asking for the Light of Love now? Tomorrow, we shall see…….
