I had a great experience with depression the other day I keep meaning to write down. I got some very unexpected news, which kind of blindsided me. I noticed I felt a heavy dragging on my chest, it felt a betrayal of sorts. I felt pitiful, lonely, left out and annoyed all at the same time. I just let all of those feelings be ok. I didn’t try to change or fix it. I just extended the quality of love of noticing.
After a little while I went out with friends and as happens when sadness or surprise hits, it is softened tremendously by spending time with those you love. Loving someone is a powerful healer. Being with others, taking part in vigorous conversation, eating and drinking tea all conspired to remind me that All Is Well.
One thing I noticed in feeling this sadness and letting it be ok was that we all avoid, shun, ignore or try to change that which we consider negative. While feeling this way, I felt a fish out of water at a meeting in a roomful of HIGHLY motivated, VERY positive, SUPER happy people. I mean, being depressed doesn’t feel good and it hurts like hell, or feels like an abyss of numb nothing. Strangely, at this point depression felt more a friend than super positive or excited hilarity. Is this extending love to depression or just opening my eyes?
Me: HS, what would be helpful for me to know about depression right now?
HS: Depression is not an enemy—it is but a call for love. Love is present in all things. The ebony quiet, stone silence, and chill of the lone thought all can feel the presence of Love simply by turning awareness over to the heart—give your eyes and ears a break, burden not your senses—allow the all-knowing Love that resides within you to comfort your soul. Bless this moment with the truth of your heart.
Me: I am free.
I am free.
HS: Yes. You are free.
Extend this truth to all corners of this room, this dog, to your thoughts.
Let depression experience true freedom to be, in this moment exactly as it is.
No thing is required.
No thing is needed.
No thing is forgotten.
Here, inside this empty glass chamber is enough love for all time and all circumstances. Allow yourself the gift of blessing your own heart for all it is, for all it gives, for the pain it has experienced for the treasures it has bequeathed. This heart is powerful and longs only to express the truth.
Will you allow this dear one?
Let the truth flow gently from your heart into your awareness.
Me: I always have everything I need if I but notice.
Rest is available at any time, simply allow it to reign.
Power comes in all colors, shapes and sizes. My power meets me where I am. I need not fear power; it will always be expressed in just the perfect way for the moment.
Power is not separate from me. I AM is my power. I don’t need to be different.
What is the power in depression?
HS: The great drawing within.
Me: How can this power be expressed?
HS: Notice what you notice within. Allow all that is within you to be welcomed into your awareness. Take your time to become friends with your own heart.
This powerful drawing within IS your heart calling you.
